TWO AND A HALF YEARS IN A SOUTHERN BAPTIST SEMINARY

CONTINUING MY 'thrown away" life and 19 things I've done you may find hard to believe.
I barely graduated from college---with a liberal arts degree---prepared for nothing in the real world.
I hitchiked home with no clue what to do with my life.  I "drifted" into conversation with a minister who suggested I go to the seminary and become a preacher.  Adrift, clueless, vulnerable and  suggestible---I said OK---took a train to Kansas City and entered the Seminary--got a job at Hallmark Cards to sustain myself and studied Old Testament, New Testament, Preaching, Ethics, theology and Archaeology.  Lived with a group of seminarians.  My instructors were generally of the liberal wing of the church and persuaded me the Bible was not infallible or "inerrant"; but contained flawed history, anachronism and even contradictions. (by the hundreds----eg I Chronicles 21:1 vs 2 Samuel 24:1) ( Most of my professors were eventually fired for heresy and it set off a huge schism in the Southern Baptist Convention that made national news--Ralph Elliot author of "The Message of Genesis--taught me Old Testament)
The good news for me:  I began to feel my worth and wake up my self esteem--even as my doubts about religion increased.  My first sermon was a smash hit (an argument with God) and I was invited to churches all around to preach it.  A paper I wrote on ethics (in the form of a play) was printed up for the entire student body.
Nevertheless I was becoming convinced that the entire world of religion was a grand delusion.  So I quit the Seminary and enrolled as a graduate student in Kansas University studying philosophy and comparative religion.  After my first year I was drafted into the Army. (served 2 yrs as a Military Policeman at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, Md)
I eventually became a Unitarian (Who have left religion and adopted Values) and enjoyed 15 minutes of fame for a faux revival sermon I wrote and delivered around the country. Here is the flyer I sent to arrange speaking engagements.
I still deliver this speech on occasion---last year in Yuma.   

Was the first to deliver a Unitarian Revival
After this article--I was invited to Unitarian Churches across the US.

Here's a line from the speech to give you an idea. (Delivered in Southern Baptist style--it always creates a sensation)

"No matter how loud I preach---some people fall asleep.  For the benefit of those just waking up--I will tell you what I have told you.
My brothers and sisters----beliefs are like rats---but these rats carry a plague.  And the plague that they carry is persecution--and war--and arrogance---and guilt---and wasted lives.
If I had my way---we would make one heap of all the world's old ratty beliefs---open the lid to that festering pit and SWEEP THIS ODIOUS VERMIN INTO HELL!

UNBELIEVE----UNBELIEVE---UNDO IT--DUMP IT---SHUCK IT
And be born again as an honest human being who does not claim to know more than he really knows"

Next up: I will tell you about my time on a real death row.
Eventually I'll get to my sex life---embarrassing but hopefully cathartic for me.





 
TWO AND A HALF YEARS IN A SOUTHERN BAPTIST SEMINARY TWO AND A HALF YEARS IN A SOUTHERN BAPTIST SEMINARY Reviewed by Unknown on November 21, 2014 Rating: 5

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