RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD--IN RHYME--Part 1 CHRISTIANITY

I'M GOING TO DO THEM ALL---ALL THE MAJOR ONES---and if you doubt that I can condense a complicated religion like Hinduism into a short poem--stay tuned.

Christianity

Backwards in time, all the way to infinity,

Three Gods in one formed a Holy Trinity.

They made angels and then gave birth

To all the stars and planet Earth;

A world of animals and a special plan

For two special creatures called woman and man.

In the image of God a her and him,

With freedom of will created He them.

One of the angels, a prideful hellion,

Led lots of others in a losing rebellion.

Banished from heaven and bitter as gall,

He hatched a plan to wreck it all.

He seduced the couple into sinning

That’s when death had its beginning.

Furthermore, all us kids and kin

Somehow inherit their will to sin.

And the wages of sin is death and hell,

An awful place to forever dwell.

But there’s one hope and only one:

God had a plan; He sent His Son.

His name was Jesus, born year zero.

He’s our savior, teacher and hero,

Born of a virgin, lived without sin;

Our way out of the pickle we’re in.

He was fully God and fully man,

Flesh and blood of a Jewish clan,

With supernatural power to raise the dead

Or feed 5 thousand with a fish and a bread.

He redefined God as mercy and love,

A caring Father in heaven above.

Then He died on a cross to pay for our sin

And 3 days later was alive again.

He lingered awhile then His mission ended

At the Mount of Olives, where He ascended.

Somehow the death of God’s own son

Atones for all the sins we’ve done.

But there’s a catch in this Christian plan:

You must believe, repent, and be born again.

If you don’t believe and won’t repent

Then after death to hell you’re sent.

If you do believe and do repent,

Your life is blessed and more content.

And when you die to heaven you’ll fly,

The ultimate pie in the ultimate sky.

This whole story is written in a book,

And all these doctrines if you carefully look.

The book is called the Holy Bible,

Inspired by God so it’s surely reliable.

And Christians believe Christ will return.

Then the righteous will rise and the wicked will burn.

Sheep and goats sent a separate way

As history ends on Judgement Day.

RANDY PHILOSOPHIZES:  This is a ridiculous story--just on the face of it.  It was pieced together from several myths and ideas floating around the middle east by one man: the apostle Paul.

It struggled awhile with a complicated competing myth called Gnosticism.  Christianity won out largely by the use of force.

Most of the one billion Christians know very little about their religion--It is mostly a comforting culture for people too lazy to think.  It has done incalculable damage to people's minds and even bodies.  There is no convincing evidence for the truth of this myth.

Next up Judiaism!